Nine (2009)

Argh. I was so disappointed! I suppose that's what happens when you really look forward to something to the point of reviewing it before you've even seen it! (I did the trailer in June) It was weak- WEAK. And I'll tell you why.

Nine is the story of a man with the several women in his life he can't live without; his wife, his mistress, his muse, his mother and his mother-figure. Also some women who he's met and/or slept with... This CANNOT work if the man in question is portrayed as disgustingly sleazy and charmless. CHARM. Guido Contini is charming!! That's why all the women sing songs about how much they have loved him!! But Daniel Day-Lewis was CHARMLESS.

He was badly cast in all but one aspect; his looks. He looked Italian. And yes, Italian men are stereotypically sleazy- but as I have stressed Guido Contini is charming not sleazy! He put on a horrible ridiculous accent, not just while talking but while ATTEMPTING to sing songs he could not pull off! Songs that I used to LOVE!!! Argh, I'm even more angry now that I've seen it that Antonio Banderas did not get the chance to reprise his recent stage performance! He plays charming very well! Daniel Day-Lewis plays psychos and 'tards very well!

The thing is that all the women were very well cast (Not Sophia Loren but I suppose you had to have one Italian) and did very well with the songs, though I didn't like all the "sexy" dance numbers always in lingerie. You know, it is possible to show women being sexy without it being kinky or tacky... It's just that the central character was so hateful and badly cast it ruined the film for me. Also they cut all my favourite songs because DDL can't sing and the song Kate Hudson sang was jarring and out of place- and it was the one song they played twice.