King Lear, Almeida

 So I've been waiting for it for what, ten years? Seems like it. But it was announced a year ago Jonathan Pryce, Jonathan Pryce, my favourite actor, master of despair, break-down acting and also comedy and musical, Jonathan Pryce would be doing King Lear. I almost didn't get a ticket! I waited up til midnight and got two of the last seats. Thank you appendix, wherever you are now (insinerated I hope) thank you for waiting for after the play to start exploding! Jonathan was great. There have been so many Lears recently, Jacobi, McKellen, Poslethwaite, did Patrick Stewart do one too? How would Jonathan play it? Well, as I always excpected, and of course hoped, he played it sexually! The reason the other daughters hated him and Cordelia so much was that he'd abused them and not her. It makes sense! And we're not talking abused one time, he's still doing it! Even though both daughters are married and have their own castles!! What a shit! I was happy he died. Edmund was particularly good too, he played it Geordie and every single thing he said was so easily accessible compared to the way some of the other actors delivered their Shakespeare. I'm sure it's something to do with him being a Geordie... Anyway, maybe it was my appendicitis kicking in and making me crazy but when Jonathan Pryce was being uber disgusting and filthy sexual, while other members of the audience (Alison, Bill Paterson, etc.) were vomitting into their handbags I was all like 'phoar!'
I will never get over how ace he is.

Old Reviews 6: A Touch of the Poet (Studio 54), Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (Imperial), Spamalot (Shubert) Spelling Bee (Circle in the Square) Jan 2006

Spamalot. I love Holy Grail and I love David Hyde Pierce and Hank Azaria. So I thought I was a Python fan, let me tell you something, you do not realise what being a python fan is until you've heard an American audeince! It was dreadful! I couldn't stand it, they laughed so much at everything, they even laughed to the extent that the joke became not-funny because of the laughter! Ok the laughing wasn't that bad, laughing's good, but what I could not

deal with was the people in the audience who decided that when a joke was "super-good" it deserved to be repeated in loud voices and laughed at some more! No! No! Don't do that! You turn something funny into something annoying!! And all I could think was "Oh god, oh god, I hope the audience at Dirty Rotten Scoundrels isn't like this, oh god! I couldn't stand it!"

Anyway, the show was more or less exactly the same as the film but they gave it an ending and a girl. Some of the musical numbers were good, and some were tedious. DHP's number was by far the best and Hank Azaria was the best actor as all the John Cleese parts.Next day was Gabriel Byrne in A Touch of the Poet which was absolutely wonderful, a lovely theatre too, all the actors were great and I needed a good straight(ish) play to get over the horror of the Python fans! There was a part in the second half though when I drifted off a bit, I was very tired, still jet lagged, but when Gabe was off stage for a good half hour I felt the days walking getting to me and Carolyn told me that she realised that in that part she was just staring at the wall! Some theatre lovers we are!! Gabe was great in it, especailly at the end when he came out of his pretentious bastard character for the happy(ish) ending.I think I'll just skip the next one and go to Friday's play The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. This show was wonderful. I'd booked tickets the day before because my dear friend Lauren was ill for the entire trip and I felt so awful for her that I wanted her to at least have one treat while she was in New York. (of course tickets for Wicked were all sold out unless you want tickets at 300 dollars a pop!) I'm so glad we chose this show. The theater was decked out like a school assembly hall and the show was clearly one of those audience participation ones, which I'm always a little weary of. Spelling Bees don't go on over here in Britain, so I can't see this coming to the West End really despite how good it was. If you've seen the film Spellbound though, you'll have an idea what a spelling bee is. The actors in the play were absolutely brilliant, playing not only the kids taking part in the bee but with very little costume change, sometimes just putting on a pair of glasses or a hat they performed other parts in sort of flashback scenes of the kids with their parents before just sitting back down. All the songs were wonderful, very catchy and funny, and the actors pointing into the audience at their 'moms' and the whole feel of it was great, I didn't mind at all taking part in it and Lauren thought it was great so I'm glad we saw it.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. The show was so good, Jonathan Pryce was so surprising, it's great that even as such a big fan he could surprise me like that by acting so differently from anything I'd ever seen him do before. The word that springs to mind at the jet lagged moment is 'zany'.
That was one good wig, Calum didn't even know it wasn't real, and he calls himself a fan... Our seats were FANTASTIC. Front row centre of the circle, or the mezzanine as it's known in America. Calum kept looking at me to check if I was ok before it started, I was grinning and jumpy and sweaty palmed.
There was Jonathan for his opening number, Give Them What They Want, he was suave and so cool, then he totally made out with some chorus girls in the middle of the number as he took their jewelry. (You guys have seen the film right? It's ace, as a kid I had all of Steve Martin's films and I always loved that one. Especially the Ruprecht bits, my friend Paul and I have been doing Ruprecht impressions since we were 12!! "Oklahoma, Oklahoma! Oklahoma!!" etc.)
When they talked between numbers Jonathan played it so David Niven, I just loved him. The jokes were great, it was the film in musical form, the music went with it and the songs were great... Norbert Leo Butz, now there's a showman! He was a crowd pleaser indeed, very funny physical guy. And that's what struck me about Jonathan in the show, how physical he was being, and how energetic he is to do all that dancing and jumping about and still be able to sing so wonderfully, and it was wondeful.
'All about Ruprecht' and the Ruprecht scene was the highlight of the first act. Jonathan takes his loud and annoying Oklahoma fiance down to the garden to meet "the Young Prince" "Ruprecht will be so happy in Oklahoma!" Enter Norbert wearing underwear and too small shirt, clutching tridant and stuffed dead ferret (which wears the same costume) And so goes the scene straight from the film, Ruprecht tried to snog Jonathan's bird, Jonathan hits him off, he gets sad and Jonathan goes to hug him to forgive him, when Norbert jumps him and gets him on the bed, dry humping and sticking the tongue down the ear. But here's the best part, they roll off the bed and Jonathan sort of goes along with it, stroking his leg and smiling coyly as they recover and stand up to the horrified girl, where he sings a great song, and actually cracked up during one of the lines pulling Norbert's face into a grin as they dance and play. It was brilliant, Jonathan corpsing in the middle of a song was brilliant, it's clear that the two of them were having such a good time!
The second half had an equally good fun number, which was Ruffhousin' mit Shuffhausen where Jonathan's character continuously hits Norbert acoss the thighs with a whip-like stick while he's under the guise of a man who has no feeling in his legs. It was the numbers that they performed together which were the best, Norbert had some great songs and the lyrics to 'Love is My Legs' are just hilarious!! I sung it for the rest of the trip. There was a great big dance number in the middle, ('The More we Dance') Jonathan is so energetic, I was so surprised that he would do something that to me looked so tiring!!
I don't think I've ever seen him do comedy like that before, and the chemistry between the two leads was great.

2011 Author's Note: This was an Art School trip to New York which consisted (for me) of going to as many Broadway shows in five days as I could manage. I remember being sad that I'd missed John Lithgow in DRS but so bloody over the moon to find out Jonathan Pryce was replacing him! I loved seeing Jonathan in a musical, I remember the show so vividly, I'm glad I went to Dundee Art School for that reason alone. Also, Spelling Bee is actually on this month at the Donmar for a very short run.

Old Reviews 5: The Brothers Grimm (November 2005)

I was pleasantly surprised at how much I actually liked it.
Ah Jonathan Pryce, have you never seen a film where the British baddy sword fights against the American armed only with a flag, "I sense an impailing!" I sung as it began... Didn't Mel Gibson kill British Jason Isaacs with an American flag in the Patriot?! Just like in that Simpsons episode! He did! I swear he killed a Brit with an American flag!!
And what about a kiss for Jonathan!? Everyone else got kissed and brought back to life, I don't see anyone running to his side! Unfair. Ah well, I guess he was a creepy bastard with an outrrrrrrageous french accent.

2011 Author's Note: Very surprised I never wrote a fanfic along that theme...

HR, Series Two (Monday mornings BBC Radio4)

I say he has been providing it ever since, but in the second series of Nigel Williams' radio comedy HR Nick le Prevost is sort of the straight-man, well, gay, but still the straighter-ish-man to Jonathan Pryce's insane Peter.

I found out about this second series earlier in the month, I am now friends with Nigel Williams. Tell that to the me who eighteen months ago reviewed series one and praised his writing, I'd have a field day. I did have a field day. I'm still there- in the field.

Anyway, no longer in the office, Peter and Sam are living together and still getting on each other's tits but still clearly meant to be. I adore how ridiculous this show is. But it's all startlingly real! That's what's most ridiculous, Peter- the character that Jonathan plays- is appalling, but he is my father! My dad would do and say all the appalling things Peter does and says. Fuck sake!

So far the two of them have lost a boiler and gained a dog. Next week I think they're going on holiday. You'll never be rid of me now, Nigel, I'm sending you my Christmas Special script!

The Chatterly Affair (2006) -And general Christmas round-up

As per usual the family got a load of porn for Christmas. Just kidding, but seriously, when am I going to see Rafe Spall with some clothes on?!

We've done loads of Christmas watching, and it's not over yet, we like to stretch Christmas out for at least a month so I guess we're only half way through. Telly: I enjoyed Michelle Dockery in The Turn of the Screw, I thought they gave her shit hair in Cranford but then that is Cranford... Tom Hiddleston and Jodi Whittacker were good but let's face it Cranford was written by Mrs Gaskell as a bet. Not really, but she did write it as a piss-take and now it's the most successful thing the BBC has ever done!? It's shite! And The Christmas episodes that weren't even written by her were even worse than her send up of country-types and happy endings. Ugh. But obviously if both Jonathan Pryce and Nick le Prevost (And Rory Kinnear- one of my absolute favourite actors to see on stage) are appearing I'm going to be watching. So I did.

Anyway, I enjoyed the final Gavin and Stacey and Tennant's final Doctor Who- though my favourite bits were remembering Bernard Cribbins voicing Orinoco the lazy womble thinking he was invisible when he got stuck in that net... "Bramble Pudding! Oh no!!!" I look forward to Stephen Moffat's writing and Matt Smith's big grave stone slab of a face in the next series.

Missed Hamlet but we got the dvd in the post this morning so I will see it soon.

And now the gifties! We've been working our way through series one and two of The Inbetweeners and I have to say I totally love it. So reassuring to see realistic teenagers in realistic situations, Anna spends her mornings in bed watching 90210, everytime I go in there I say "teachers or teenagers?" because all the cast look the same age; in their plastic botox thirties- HORROR. The Inbetweeners is a wonderful British tonic to American sitcom/soap teenagers, all four boys are hysterically well suited to their roles.

We've watched lots of shite of course; Wolverine, an utterly awful Fantastic Four movie (Turns out he bought it in Lidl on Christmas Eve- he should have resisted.) Bridge to Terabithia- Suzie's favourite book as a child, totally un-cinematagraphical material so a terrible film, etc.

And today me and Anna watched The Chatterley Affair. Anna said flippantly afterwards of Andrew Davies the scriptwriter "Pervert. Always writes a lot of filth!" which made me laugh an awful lot.

Lady Chatterley's Lover is I think a key part of my strange history, my grandfather was one of the blokes who smuggled it into the country long before the court case, he was proudly photographed for the paper as a "local pervert", Nana was reet pissed off... I love it though, Anna probably thinks I'm a pervert too.

The Caretaker (Liverpool Everyman Theatre)

Jonathan Pryce makes his big return to the Liverpool Everyman, the theatre that made him, the theatre that has a big photo of 'Company of 1975' in the foyer that made me squawk with excited laughter -presumably Jonathan took the photo- at first glance I managed not to see Julie Walters right in the middle or Bill Nighy lurking behind, but only Nick Le Prevost of course and his magnificent hair.

While I was in America Jonathan had a few days off because of illness (I was frantically calling the theatre yesterday to check he'd be in the matinee we'd booked) I'm reckoning a cold because the theatre was so EFFING boiling that it could only be because the actors were cold, the audience was awash with sweat. Anna felt herself drifting away at one point becacuse of the heat but because I had been looking froward to seeing it of course I was wide awake and cramming in fondant fancies for a sugar buzz that would see me through the sleepy-heat of the second half.

Aside from the theatre, the play and the performances were top notch. Well, I'm not a Pinter fan, but this was definitley the performance of his classic to see; all three actors were very very good. Tom Brooke as the nasty brother was excellently scary and vicious, I imagine David Tennant (and even Jonathan himself back in 1980) would have played the role in a very similarly nasty and manic way. Good actor that boy, nice-but-dim in that awful Richard Curtis film and then convincingly terrifying in Pinter, tres impressive. The other brother (Peter MacDonald) was very good too, his monolgue was wonderful and his practically silent performance through the rest of the play was compelling too. And of course Jonathan Pryce does not disappoint, he plays a very real character which I imagine would be very easy to overplay, he's a sad figure but my favourite bits were as usual his physical comedy. I say as usual but lots of the times I've seen Jonathan on stage the bits I like are the horrific breakdowns, there wasn't one in this so I will cling to the tragi-comedy, the wag of a finger or the roll of an eye- the surpressed pleasure and appreciation for a second-hand smoking jacket.

Dimetos (at the Donmar Warehouse until 9th May)

You lot know how I feel about Jonathan Pryce. I adore him whatever he does. But there's something so wonderful about seeing him on stage, where he belongs. He is so good, someone who has seen all his films and thinks he is good could not imagine how good he is when live.

He is the play. He's why you see the play. The other actors, no matter how well trained they are suddenly just become his props, he has such stage presence, he's spell binding.

I watched the play, my face twisted with horrible emotion (I think I scared Nick Le Prevost, he was sitting downstairs and looked up at one point to see my gurning mug; "Oh God, it's what's-her-face, looking intense! As usual!"), the story was painful to watch but impossible to look away. I was in tears- and not just because I was terribly drunk...

Ah the play, Dimetos, by Athol Fugard, directed by Douglas Hodge. The story of a brilliant engineer escaping his former life to live in the country with his niece and his rather bitter housekeeper. A Greek Tragedy in modern times, or was it? It wasn't specific, it could have been any time.

Lovely innocent niece. I read that Holliday Grainger, the actress playing Lydia is hating being on stage, she's terrified, only having done some TV until now. Well, I thought she was really excellent. And it would be a shame if she did just go back to Merlin and Robin Hood (shudder) But then maybe I just liked the way she acted, or the things she had to act. I'm always a fan of pain. I loved seeing Jonathan going mental, crying, tearing at his hair and screaming. I watched in spell-bound terror, but I loved it. And Miss Grainger too, I liked her most when she wasn't all innocent, when she figured out what was going on and ended the first act. Woo, scary scary stuff!

The cast were all good, but like I say, I'm there to see Jonathan and he does not disappoint. He was fabulous.

Nice theatre too on another note! Very cosy, liked it better than the Almeida, the only other small theatre I've been to in London. The set was suibtably bleak and interesting and the audience below me (I was on the edge of the circle) were only sometimes distracting.

HR: A Roleplay (Friday Radio4)

So it's been three weeks since it began, two weeks since Peter and Sam accidentally killed their boss whilst drunk on a bonding trip, one week since Sam came out of the closet and now today Peter's wife has left him- not that he cares.

It is my belief (and deepest hope) that Peter is a chronic liar and has never had a wife- I hope he is also secretly gay. Next week's penultimate episode A Leaving Party is a bit of a clue to how this has to end I think. My boys have been horrifically incompetent, it's not going to end well for either of them, it's radio comedy so I don't think anyone's going to find out about the murder- one of the best bits about radio is that next week no one really cares that you killed your boss, I reckon this would be different if it was a television sitcom. Didn't Joanna and Alan end up walking naked into the sea in Green Wing after they killed a number of people? I hope Peter and Sam don't end up going the same way...

Anyway, I'm enjoying this series immensely, I mean, I know I mentioned before I'm the target audience, but some of my friends listen too, and they all love it without being weirdoes. It's so well written. Can you imagine how hard it is to write engaging and totally mad dialogues, six of them, it's hard. But these are good half hour shows, I'm also enjoying Andy Hamilton's Old Harry's Game on Radio 4 but after seven series we're beginning to hear the same jokes, and there are some bum-notes. HR is just what Radio 4 needs, new, inventive comedy. Role on series three of Fags, Mags and Bags! It is both amazing and great!

Listen again to episode four A Roleplay.

HR, Episode 1: An Apraisal (Friday Radio4)

So we knew I'd adore it. I'm the target audience, forget other frustrated office workers, the target audience is Amy, the girl who has for the last seven years listed Jonathan Pryce and Nicholas Le Prevost as her favourite actors and top two men of all time.

The first episode of Nigel Williams' HR was adapted from the original half hour TV script that the two boys performed a couple of years ago, it was almost word for word- except with that word being bleeped out many many times (It's 11.40 in the morning- as Sam says accurately). But there were some nice additions, tweaks, etc. I think it was even funnier on the radio, I was cracking up even though I knew the script already! The best tweak was that in the TV play we saw Peter fiddle with the recording while Sam was out of the office, on the radio you heard Sam ineptly attempting innocuous small-talk with his secretay/assistant/whatever... Then the punchline was a fab surprise for us (and a horrible surprise for poor old Sam) Also a nice bit of character development for Sam, as it's a series we need to see how incompetent and addled he is, I loved it.

It's so simple but so funny.

Please listen again folks, I promise you will like it.http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00hg6mz

The Moon and the Stars (2007)

So this film was never released over here, in fact it hasn't even been released on dvd, so god knows how I finally got to see a copy of it! Well, I know, it's thanks to one of my pals over at the Jonathan Pryce Fanclub. But I've no idea where she got it!! Anyway, here's the point; I didn't actually think it was that bad!
I actually liked it (a bit) I just always feel so pissed off that Jonathan Pryce wasn't offered these film roles earlier in his career. I'm betting that the main reason this film wasn't released was that the industry said "No one's going to go and see a film where 59-year old Jonathan Pryce is your romantic lead- wig or no wig!" Obviously I'd see a film where Jonathan's the romantic lead, it's what I pray for everytime his imdb is updated! Maybe that's the secret reason I was not that into the film- one makeout scene, one!? Then cut to a fantastic looking breakfast. Gah! This isn't what I, the audience of Jonathan Pryce romantic films, paid for!!
Enough about Jonno, for now, let me tell you what I liked about the actual film. The story is it's May 1939, A gay, Jewish film producer is making a film version of Tosca in fascist Italy starring Germany's most beautiful actress and England's recovering alcholoic/heroin addict leading man. It's predictable, the war is going cause trouble for these people and of course the German bird isn't a Nazi she's actually really nice and will learn to love the heroin addict with the wig. Yeah, it wasn't really the story I was into, though I enjoyed the stalker, I'm sure I've seen him in something else... But it was the style in which it was shot I liked. I liked the whole look of it, and when it worked the old-styley shots looked fantastic- lots of mirrors with people's faces in them, and Powell and Pressburger style sound; her scream melding with the train whistle after he left.
The Bogart and Bacall thing they were trying for didn't work, and I'll tell you why, and I really don't think it had anything to do with J.P.- it was her, Sorry Catherine McCormack, I don't know if it was all the plastered on makeup that was off-putting, but I found her quite ugly and harsh, was this supposed to be contrast to soft and smiling Jonathan Pryce? It is possible to be striking and cute you know! (I know)
Oh yeah, and how many times can you say the name of the film in the film without it getting tedious? Just stop saying 'The moon and the stars'!!!! Jeez!
Back to Jonathan, a subject I can talk about but recently have had little to talk about (Cast him! Cast him!) His little rant on set was quite amusing, not really Christian Bale... "Tch! how obnoxious that British chap is, did you hear him? I think he might have actually said 'bugger' gasp!" Lots of overacting of course, but he's an actor playing an actor playing a campy villain- in the 30s! It was great!
Complaints: Not enough dancing- Jonathan is so fluid when he dances it's creepily mesmerizing! They hardly showed any of that at all.
Opposite of Complaints (it's late! I've been up since 6!): Great shots of Jonathan looking tall and handsome- that was one of the better wigs I've seen on him- Nothing like standing next to a short, fat, ugly person to make you look fabulous!!
Puzzles: How did Jonathan Pryce spend one night in prison and come out the next morning with his cream suit completely spotless?

PS You've all voted for the wrong Uptown Boys, you idiots! God, I know I'm going to be worse than Susie and those brown mugs about this but, come on!! Did any of you actually watch that music video?! It's Wilby!!! eff sake!