Citizen Kane (1941)

Finally saw Citizen Kane! After seeing so many Simpsons episodes that reference it! Half an hour before the end my dad got up tired and announced he was off to bed, he then said "When's he going to find his effing ******?" to which I said "Anna might not know the ending Dad-Y!!!!!" (I knew what Rosebud was because, well, I think everyone does, but I had a feeling Anna didn't, I was right she wasn't 100 percent sure) Dad-Y protested saying "It was in the Simpsons! Mr Burns had a ******!" Anna screeched "HE HAD A BEAR!!! Bobo was a BEAR!!!" So Dad-Y managed to ruin the ending for Anna even though she'd managed 24 years and an hour and a half into the actual film without knowing… God damn it!

Anyway, we knew now what Rosebud was but we didn't know if the characters would find out, so the ending was still magnificently haunting and to us, as hoarders of our own childhood stuff, terrifying!! Anna told me this morning she couldn't sleep because of the fear.

"Yeah, I kept thinking Rosebud was in the room with me!" I agreed.

Not quite the same fear methinks.

Memento (2000)

I've been meaning to see it for years, I love the Prestige and I thought Inception was ace. Maybe I was expecting too much or maybe I just hate that rubbish actress from the Matrix so I knew she'd be playing a douche, but I thought it was a bit crap.

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

Paul and I saw the Liberace film. It was great. Brill performances and a great comedy turn from Rob Lowe. Shame it's not on at the cinema in America so it can't win any Oscars, Michael Douglas was great as disgusting old Liberace, what a creep! The part he was born to play baby!!

Chimerica, Almeida Theatre

We booked Chimerica ages ago because we needed a Saturday matinee to make our London trip complete, nothing was on that grabbed us, even Chimerica we thought sounded a bit naff, granted we'd only read the title and nothing else but we booked it anyway saying "I wonder if Stephen Campbell Moore looks like a turtle in real life or just in the History Boys film?"

Stephen Campbell Moore is incredibly attractive in real life! So was Claudie Blakely, but I knew that anyway, she's super cute. BUT the attractiveness of the actors played no part in how fucking awesome Chimerica was. The play had just opened, and we looked briefly at a Guardian review on the way just to see what we were letting ourselves into, five stars and the phrase "incredibly filmic" jumped out. 

The staging was amazing, a rotating box with sliding doors provides countless different rooms and settings, projections of photographic backdrops set the time and the scenes perfectly. Chimerica was like State of Play (the bbc drama not the US film), journalists getting too involved in a story, but this time a photographer getting in too deep, it was a thrilling scary and exciting drama with a believable love story dropped in! There were scary bits too! It was amazing, by the interval neither of us wanted it to end, it was the best most enjoyable piece of theatre I'd seen for ages, it was really great. A week later all the newspapers had given it five stars and it was transferring to Broadway. Enjoy it America! It's a brilliant political thriller!

Man of Steel (2013)

Father's day. My dad has always loved Superman but hated what they do to him in films, he hates most of all that Lex Luthor is always portrayed as a ridiculously campy figure of fun, Superman Returns continued this and we were so disappointed because Kevin Spacey can be super evil, we all know it.

There was no Luther in this one so I was hopeful, also I liked the look of Henry Cavill, he looked like Superman as I imagine him even if he was not as my dad did. Anyway, within two minutes of the film starting I knew my dad would hate it and hate it all. Russell Crowe (who dad had so enjoyed in Les Mis!) riding about on a 3D dinosaur, wtf?! After the first ten minutes I stopped worrying how my dad was feeling and just decided to concentrate on how I felt. 

Everyone seemed to hate it but I liked it. I agree with my dad that Kevin Costner was awful and should not have been allowed but Jonathan Kent is always a douchebag so it doesn't bother me that much. I liked it. I actually really liked it. I liked it all the way through and I loved the end. 

Sorry dad, it was the best Superman I'd seen! Still not right at all, I agree, but a better effort than ever before.

Star Trek into Darkness (2013)

When Calum came to visit we all saw the new Star Trek film, I saw it again with my dad in Hebden Bridge, which was great because I haven't been there for ages, I love all the sweeties you can buy and cups of tea and hot chocolate. I got through two packs of poppets and a highland toffee bar probably for under a pound. Best cinema in Britain.

Anyway, I liked the film because I'd seen Wrath of Khan and so I got that it was just a big rehash of bits of that- Also I've heard the episode of Fags, Mags and Bags (Radio 4) Wrath of Khan which is also a rehash of that- but HILARIOUS. But I don't think you need to know Star Trek to enjoy this one. I didn't really know Star Trek when I saw the last one but I still totally loved it! 

Everyone agrees without Cumberbatch the film would be average though. Hooray for the return of Jermey Irons/Alan Rickman Die Hard type British Villains, well done Cumberbatch, use your acting talent to camp and laugh and use that voice!!

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

Hello "Things I have watched and Seen blog" prepare to be reminded of the crap I've seen in the last four months! Starting with this particular piece of crap that I had the misfortune of seeing when it was out! Disappointing! And as usual 3D just gives me a headache!

Electrick Children (2011)

What a weird but enjoyable little film. Rented purely 'cause I wanted to see what Rory Culkin had grown into (another good actor, but Kieran's probably still the most promising). A mormon girl listens to a cassette tape, hears music for the first time and suddenly becomes pregnant. Her parents don't believe her immaculate conception story so they throw her brother out believing he raped her. They run away to Las Vegas, him wanting her to confess on the tape to who really raped her so he can go home and clear his name, she wants to find the voice on the tape, believing him to be her baby's father and the man she must marry.
A good culture shock film with everything you wanted to happen, the brother gets drunk and high and makes out with girls and swears and has a great time, the sister falls in love with a loser skaterboy and they escape the weird religious oppression of the commune. Hooray!

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (1991)

I used to love this film, well, bits of it. And those bits I found I do still love! But my god, what a boring overly long film it is! Still better than Russell Crowe but nowhere near as good as the Disney version.
Christ! All these Americans! Ending with a wink to the camera?! Jesus! Self-righteous American tosh! And then, every twenty minutes or so you get this really quite different, darkly comic British pantomime, Alan Rickman arrives and you wake up and you find you're enjoying the film all of a sudden! He's camp but he's scary, he's funny but fucking weird! That bit when he talks to that kid "I had a very troubled childhood, I'll tell you about it sometime..." then he stops an seems to remember he's in the middle of being a professional sheriff, he's not, he's a fucking nutbar! And he plays it so well. You can bet your bottom dollar that it's because of his performance in this dreadful film that got him every other job he's ever had.
Sometimes I think it's a shame he got that Harry Potter job. Yes I'm in the minority that think he's completely miscast, but I really do think that comedy is where his talent really lies, that in Robin Hood and Galaxy Quest he is simply brilliant, and perhaps if he hadn't done Harry Potter he might have had better roles and made some better films! Who knows.
Tim Roth would have been a great Snape. He turned it down apparently. Imagine! Imagine if Tim Roth was Snape! Lily, James, Lupin and Sirius would have been better cast as well, they would have cast them around Roth! Cast them the right age! Had them all in their forties rather than their sixties! Ridiculous.

In Treatment (2008)

So I can't stress how much I liked In Treatment, though I also can't stress how much it was just because of the concept! Five half hour episodes a week; the patient he sees on Monday on Monday, the patient he sees on Tuesday on tuesday, etc and then on Friday he goes to his therapist and talks about what he really thinks of all his nut job patients! And the best part of it was you had to wait a week to see Sophie again, or Jake and Amy or whoever was your favourite, and how has what Paul's (Gabriel Byrne, our therapist) had to deal with over the week, how was that going to affect how he treats his patients. See even though you only see him non-professionally in the friday episodes it was still all about him, it took a week to get into it, but once you're in you are caught!
So Sophie was my favourite. Not just because she seemed to be the only patient he actually managed to help (Laura, no, that didn't work, Alex, that definitely didn't work, Jake and Amy, well, Jake seemed much better but I grew to like him more and more towards the end and hate Amy, and his own therapy, well what a disaster!) But I liked the relationship between them. One of the things Paul argued to his own therapist was that he loved all of his patients, if he didn't feel a connection then he couldn't really help them. Sophie was the one he really loved I think, and she loved him. She got what she needed out of therapy, a safe place and someone she could trust and a father figure who didn't let her down or take advantage of her. I came to the conclusion he should be a child psychiatrist, as he was gentle and patient with her when he wasn't with some of the others, after all it's ok for a child to act like a child but surely you can't help showing your anger and disgust if after ten sessions a grown man is still acting that way (I liked it when he went mad at Alex, did he punch him or did he just throw coffee in his face?).
Mia Wasikowska was bloody good. Makes me want to watch Jane Eyre again, she's now on my list of actors to always watch. I liked Melissa George as Laura as well, but only 'cause I fancied her.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Did you know this film won an Oscar? Best Make-up of course, making John Lithgow so damn attractive! No, it was for Harry's make-up, John Lithgow is naturally beautiful.
Lauren came round last night and we watched this classic. The last time I watched it was also with Lauren, on my birthday about five years ago, I don't know if I was drunk or just tired five years ago but I hardly remembered any of it! It was ok but the best part was waiting for scenes which you could chop out and edit into a romance between Lithgow and Harry- there were a lot. And editing in sound-clips of passion from 3rd Rock from the Sun I'm sure it would work beautifully.

2 Days in New York (2012)

I'd seen 2 Days in Paris (2007) but didn't remember or realise this was the sequel until after the film, trying to figure out where I'd seen Julie Delpy before. The first film I now vaguely remember she took her New York Jewish boyfriend to Paris to meet her family and he was horrified to find out she had slept with practically every man in France. I thought he was good but could do better.
In this follow-up by writer/director/star Delpy, she has a new partner (Chris Rock) who is horrified to find out her family are douchebags when they come to stay. The thing is that it wasn't just her family who were ghastly, she was just as bad, and like the Jewish boyfriend in the first film, radio show host boyfriend is much better off without her, for fucksake, she cost him an interview with Obama! Not her badly behaved family, HER.
This is one of those cutesy quirky culture-clash films that you're supposed to like, Julie Delpy must be exactly like her character, self-centred and lacking empathy and humility to not understand that a woman like that is not charming or funny.
It's a cold day in hell when Chris Rock is the least bad thing in a film.

Killer Joe (2012)

I saw the trailer for Killer Joe at the cinema a while back and thought it looked pretty good. I've never been a fan of Matthew McConnaughey but seeing him the other day in Eastbound and Down not playing 'naked model in advert' (the role I usually see him in) made me remember the Killer Joe ad.
It was based on a play and I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much, that it was about the words and not showing loads of set design or location, you knew it was Texas from the horrible trailer in which most of it took place. It was a film where the actors' performances and the script were the key things, it was a play. The script was pretty good, not great, but the performances were really excellent. I didn't even mind the extreme violence because it was still uncomfortably funny and Matthew McConnaughey was fucking scary as hell as well as being charming.

Eastbound and Down Seasons 1 & 2

'Sup mother fuckers, it's Kenny fuckin' Powers! This is my last "Review" I'm currently waiting for season 3 of Kenny fuckin' Powers, as I call it, to arrive. I loved the first season, it was ridiculous and disgusting but it had heart (Kenny's love of April and her boobs) the second season was not nearly as good, it felt weak and they got rid of the heart and added more gross (Stop letting Stevie say things!! Argh! So gross and uncomfortable!!) I read online they shot it all in a month! I can believe it. I was ready to not buy any more seasons but hell, god damn them if they didn't just go and return home to his brother, brother's family, the principal and April and her boobs in the last episode and make me want to see what happens! Tch! I did enjoy Matthew McConaughey's creepy gay cameo. My mum couldn't believe it was the same naked hot guy who models for perfume ads. Hope he's back in season 3! Smell you later tv diary! Consider yourself updated at last! I'll be adding the first season if In Treatment to this list soon, I'm in the middle of watching it!

Breaking Bad, Seasons 1-4

And now to what I am currently doing. I have had surgery. I am bedbound. We got that. So what happens when you're bedbound? You watch tons of boxsets. Breaking Bad I have been watching slowly now for a while. After the appendicitis kicked in- and by the way I thought it was food poisoning for the first week so I just lay in bed writhing!- in the week pre-hospital I started and finished season 4. Bloody hell! What a show! I can't see how they could need another season, tie up a few little loose ends I suppose, but really, that was an ending, it was an ending I'm happy with and when I was in the hospital after my operation and off my face on morphine for three days I had a hell of a lot of nightmares about Breaking Bad!! It gets in your head, man!!

Lawless (2012)

 Guy Pearce was the best thing in it, typical Guy Pearce creepy psycho weirdo. And Gary Oldman was actually good as well, and I'm so used to him being the same these days that I forgot how brilliant he was in Leon, he was just as psycho violent in this. Rest of the film disappointingly boring and I don't want to see someone being tarred and feathered, that's too violent for me and will give me nightmares.

The Amazing Spider-man (2012)

 Me, Anna, Mikey and Roger all went out to the big cinema to see Spidey, we had pizzas and crap at Frankie and Benny's first and Roger's student ID got us FIFTEEN pounds off the final bill! Now that was amazing. I don't know, it was ok, Anna really enjoyed it (and she hates comics!) She was really upset when Uncle Ben died, and it was great because she'd forgotten he does die, I suppose that's the advantage of not being a nerd, that film actually surprised her!

Mad Men, Season Five (and yes I'm still alive)

Ok. I'm going to start with this one because I have just rewatched it on DVD after having watched it all when it was originally on tv. I haven't put anything on here since April, I've been useless! I blame having that job at the comic shop! And then having that tv job in Leeds and then being on holiday and then being in hospital. I am now bedbound and so I have no excuse... The thing is I actually did keep a note of all the films and plays I've seen and I prepared images for the blog, I just never seemed to have time to write it. So now, even though the reviews will be short and probably I'll say "I can't really remember it" a lot, at least I'll be back up to date!


Madmen season five was thrilling, I loved watching it weekly as well as watching it all in a couple of nights last week! Peggy is just the bomb, I can't wait for her in the next season. I can't write more, just that I love it and I'm glad after a season of Don thinking he can be different with Megan the final shot of him was like "Ah, fuck it, I'm Don Draper!"

Midnight in Paris (2011)

YES. A Woody Allen film made just for him like his good ones were, but without him, and with a charasmatic and handsome leading man, but still playing the Woody Allen part and it working.
Brillianly nerdy and indulgent and intellectual but at the same time not really, and above all affectionate, romantic and beautiful but not sexy and never trying to be. Just lovely.
What I loved most about Midnight in Paris was that the present day bits could have been any time really in the past forty years. There was nothing topically specific, rich republicans have always been like that and always will be. It wasn't ever about a time really, just a place. Predictable ending, but what a nice film. And the opening sequence of just views of Paris was great too.

Sherlock Holmes 2 (2012)

SHITE.
I liked one scene, the scene three minutes before the end when Moriaty and Holmes chuck themselves over the Reichenbach Falls. And then what? They bring Holmes back instantly!? Didn't the original fans of the books have to wait ten years or something before he was brought back to life? I think that was a bit more dramatic.