Star Trek into Darkness (2013)

When Calum came to visit we all saw the new Star Trek film, I saw it again with my dad in Hebden Bridge, which was great because I haven't been there for ages, I love all the sweeties you can buy and cups of tea and hot chocolate. I got through two packs of poppets and a highland toffee bar probably for under a pound. Best cinema in Britain.

Anyway, I liked the film because I'd seen Wrath of Khan and so I got that it was just a big rehash of bits of that- Also I've heard the episode of Fags, Mags and Bags (Radio 4) Wrath of Khan which is also a rehash of that- but HILARIOUS. But I don't think you need to know Star Trek to enjoy this one. I didn't really know Star Trek when I saw the last one but I still totally loved it! 

Everyone agrees without Cumberbatch the film would be average though. Hooray for the return of Jermey Irons/Alan Rickman Die Hard type British Villains, well done Cumberbatch, use your acting talent to camp and laugh and use that voice!!

Misfits Series Three (2011)

 

Series three saw the departure of favourite Nathan and the arrival of new favourite Rudy. No need to worry about your show when Joe Gilgun climbs aboard. Yes, seeing him there reminded me how good This is England is, more about that later.
It was a good series to end it on. I watched the first episode of the new series but I won't be watching the rest, it seemed to have lost all charm and it was violent and not funny. If Kelly had stayed it would have been ok, she was my other favourite, but she is gone. Ho hum.
Anyway, I enjoyed those three series of the Misfits they were in a league and genre of their own, Matt Smith's Doctor drunk and on heroin, Being Human but high, Buffy but bum-raped by Rudy's apathetic self-interested side.

Misfits, Sesaons 1 & 2

I've been meaning to watch it for ages, we've had the boxset of series 1 & 2 for a year and it's remained unopened, still cellophane wrapped. Well, I opened it, and I watched all 13 episodes within a couple of days, probably could have done it in one if I didn't have to have so many naps! The kids are charming, talented and good looking and the stories are mad, funny and stupid and just what you want when you're ill. Series 3 arrived this morning, me and Dad-Y are going to watch some tomorrow, he's ill too, so we can both enjoy it. I've seen the ads on tv for the current 4th series, it looks naff with none of the original characters in it. Yes I'm sad Nathan is gone, but I love the actor who plays Rudy so I'm still really looking forward to this third series, series 4 I don't think I'll bother with, hopefully the third will be like the 4th series of Breaking Bad, a suitable ending. Kelly better not die, she's my favourite now Nathan's gone

Looper (2012)

 How the flip did they do it? How did they make Tommy from 3rd Rock from the Sun look like a young Bruce Willis?! False nose, false eyes, big drawn on eyebrows (despite the fact Bruce has no eyebrows) and- now this is the important bit- Tommy doing an impression; that wry sideways smile Bruce always does and the short derrisive laugh. It was an ok film, I only went because I wanted to see someone doing an impression of Bruce, I like seeing actors doing impressions! There was a bit that was a bit too much for me and Celia, too graphic and horrible, yuck, you know the bit.

Total Recall (2012)

After a date with a bucket of chicken on a park bench me and Stephen went to the other cinema in York- the one I'd never been to, the 1930s art deco one! and we saw the Total Recall remake, I think he was appalled to find out I'd never seen the original. I imagine the original couldn't possibly be as bad as that. But hey, you never know! It could be shite too! You know your film is suffering when Bryan Cranston and Bill Nighy are the potential bad guys.

Prometheus (2012)

Day out with Rob and Lisa, ended with a terrible film which I say is terrible because I think that's the concensus. BUT, now call me a tiny fool if you must but I went into the film NOT KNOWING it was part of the Alien franchise so when all the Alien-type-things started happening I was thinking, 'hm, that's a bit like in Alien...' and when I thought I was the only person in the audience to figure out it was an Alien prequel I felt pretty damn pleased with myself! People are right, ignorance is bliss, I really enjoyed Prometheus! Even all the awful stupid plot holes! I will admit though, the first ten minutes with David dying his hair and watching old movies and playing basketball, those were undoubtedly the best bits.

Men in Black III (2012)

God, it was terrible. I'm sorry we had to see it. Highlight was when the creepy bad guy spoke and I went 'Fuck, is that Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords?!' and it was.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

And now for all the films I've seen since April! Yikes, a few of these, including this one, were comic shop work-outings, so we knew what the customers were talking about! I haven't worked there since August! Yeah, I miss it a lot, I miss knowing what comics are out and I miss spotify and tea breaks and the price guns... But I've been really busy and even though I could have come back october, november, december well, my appendix burst and then I had a lot more complications and I'm bedbound til Christmas and then fingers crossed I have that new job in January, so actually it's good that I left with time for the gang to replace me rather than them suddenly being in the lurch! Annoyed I missed Thought Bubble AGAIN though...


So Steve, Mikey and I went to see this 'cause all the nerds were talking about it. It was good, it was clever and it was scary. Well, I found it scary, sorry, I don't like zombies and violence and monsters! Mikey liked it but thought it wasn't scary, Steve didn't think it was scary either... It was!!

X-Men First Class (2010)

I got the lurgy early November and my dad rented this for me to watch which was fun because I'd been meaning to see it, especially as I now work in a comic shop!
I enjoy the X-Men films, in fact I enjoy a lot of the Marvel films despite having no interest in any Marvel comics (apart from Frank Miller's Electra and Daredevil). I enjoyed this one too.
Fassbender's pretty damn good isn't he? If he hadn't have been in the film it would have been a lot of shite, the only highlight being Hugh Jackman's two word cameo. I liked Magneto and his past and his relationship with Bluey. The rest was pretty shite though, 'specially Kevin Bacon and his lame gang!
I don't know about James MacAvoy being miscast, I think he would have made a very good young Prof X if only the script hadn't been so awful! Why did the writers choose to write him as a cocky arsehole? It wasn't his fault. If they'd written him serene and wise and not a sexpest I'm sure he would have been very convincing.

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

At first I was like 'Why's the CGI so terrible in this film?!' but then I didn't mind because it was all so ridiculous I ended up enjoying it immensely! Truly trash but so enjoyable, all the cheesy references, TERRIBLE cgi, it looked like a cartoon!! So many letter-box actors, and the worst plot and script! I must write it down...

Ok, so James Franco is trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease and testing his medicine on monkeys, it works but he gets the sack and ends up keeping a super intelligent baby monkey in his attic, already we're like, what? How can he afford to do that and why does no one find out for like five years? He cures his declining father with the same formula but after a few years John Lithgow's immune system gets rid of the stuff and Franco sets to work making a better version of the magic potion.

Franco's super-monkey hurts the unlucky guy who lives next door through protecting Lithgow (as monkeys do) and he gets put into an EVIL monkey sanctuary that literally would not exist in reality. The guys who work there are dicks and you wonder if they hate monkeys so much why do they work at a monkey sanctuary? "I like violence and I hate animals." "We have the perfect job for you, at the monkey sanctuary!"

Back at the pharmaceutical company Franco used to work at before getting fired at the start the greedy British black man who owns it gives him the go-ahead and they all decide to try the new medicine on the most EVIL looking monkey they can find... British black man then watches new improved evil clever monkey drawing evil bananas and writing his name on a list under the heading of 'To Kill' but is not worried at all.

Main monkey becomes king and somehow the other monkeys understand what he asks them to do despite the fact they are just monkeys (???) he makes them intelligent however with new improved gas- which coincidentally is deadly to humans. Unlucky guy next door catches a face full of deadly germs and it is revealed over the end credits (after all the intelligent monkeys have run into the woods and turned over a load of cars etc.) that he is a pilot and he spreads the plague all over the work thus eradicating the human race leaving apes as the ruling species. The End.

I really enjoyed Tom 'Draco Malfoy' Felton, playing the biggest douchebag of all time, how awesome to deliver the line, "Get your stinking paw off me, you damn dirty ape!" He was really good and his American accent was far better than Dominic Cooper's in Captain America.

Never Let Me Go (2011)

Pointlessly I went to see the depressing Never Let Me Go, I say pointlessly because it was to give Roger and Anna some alone time in the flat, but the only showing was at 6pm so when I got back they still hadn't even had dinner, so they had to put up with me then sitting in the living room doing my work for a couple of hours and I had to put up with feeling like crap!
The thing is, I knew it would be horrifically depressing! I knew there would be no happy ending, because there just wouldn't! They had a purpose! They fulfilled it! This isn't America! This isn't The Island! Anyway, I waited for something unexpected to happen, but nothing did, they lived for a bit and then they died, the end. If you've seen the trailer you've seen the film. I don't like Carey Mulligan, I don't think Keira's ever any good and I didn't like Andrew Garfield, I just kept thinking; he is going to be such a weird shaped Spider-man.

Matt Smith in Doctor Who (BBC 1)

I know the rest of the world was all sobbing because David Tennant's "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Doctor was dead, but I was gung-ho for Matt Smith's Doc as soon as they announced him- well, half an hour before they announced him actually, when sitting around the dinner table with the family wondering who it would be, "J.J. Field perhaps?" my sister hoped, "Imagine if it was Lankenstein!" Said I.

Well, it was Lankenstein.

You see, my sister manages to fall in love with up-and-coming actors after seeing them in a local play or hearing them on the radio reading Book of the Week. We went all the way to Edinburgh to see David Tennant who had previously been seen as the creepy vicar in He Knew He Was Right and NOTHING ELSE in a play because Anna fancied him. Then he became world famous as Doctor Who and everyone loves him. Matt Smith Anna saw in Cast B of the History Boys original tour (he was Lockwood) and then heard him read God's Own Country on Radio 4 where he played a psycho-rapist who was fond of Heartbeat and had the unfortunate nickname of Lankenstein. Anna laughed at my flip prediction, she secretly hoped that Lankenstein (Matt Smith to you) would never become famous and she could marry him, so when he appeared it was shock, thrills and horror... Lankenstein was no longer hers, he was to be the nation's favourite alien. The Doctor.

And on Saturday we saw his debut episode. I thought he was bloody good. Instantly engaging, and throughout he was in no way cringy or sentimental- makes a change- well done, all memories of Tennant are erased, Lankenstein, you are The Doctor.

It was time for a young Doctor. Doctor Who is aimed at a young audience- get a life 40 year old sci-fi fans, this is obviously a kids show- Tennant had to go, It was good when he started, really good, because he was relatively young and he had Rose and Martha; twenty somethings that the audience could relate to. His final series with Catherine Tate lost it for me and I'll tell you why, kids don't want to watch two 40 year olds having adventures. Matt Smith and his young sidekick are exactly what the show needs, leads that the target audience want to be friends with.

Problem though (not for me, I loved all of it): Americans don't get Scottish accents. She's lovely and feisty and all but Doctor Who might just have lost it's American following. And another thing Americans like; shmaltz, Tennant was good but sometimes there was too much of that embarrassing sentimentality, *shudder* So American! Of course this was not just Tennant's doing, it was Russell T. Davis, now that he's gone we will have good well-written scary episodes of science fiction. I really look forward to watching the rest of the series.

Star Trek (2009)

I watched this film this afternoon with my mum and dad, my mum will only watch proper films- ie not big blockbusters crammed with special effects and aliens... But she really enjoyed this for the same reason I think everyone would enjoy it. You're just waiting to see another perfectly cast actor appear to reinvent or recreate a classic familiar character.

They all did brilliantly.

I can't see sequels being successful at all though, because we already know what happened next.

Sunshine (2007)

Event Horizon crossed with The English Patient.

Except the English patient is played by Mark Strong and, boy, is he miffed about something!

Dark City (1998)

It looked and felt like Brazil(1985) except more polished, unfortunately there was not one joke in the whole film. Keifer Sutherland was doing a camp impression of Peter Lorre so that was sort of funny, but not really... I felt as though I'd seen the story a hundred times, though at first it was ridiculously confusing. But I hadn't read a description so I had no idea what it was about- I had no idea what it was about for a whole hour!

I like Rufus Sewell and he was definitely handsome in this film and Jennifer Connelly was gorgeous, remember she used to be so lovely and pale and not-anorexic!

But in the end you can sort of tell the caliber of a film when the bad guys walk in and they're Richard O'Brien and Ian Richardson.

Ho hum.

Torchwood: Children of Earth (BBC1)

Tonight we watched three of this week's Torchwood episodes in a row. It was much more exciting this way than Monday and Tuesday's lone episodes. I don't usually watch Torchwood but you know, with no Doctor Who on we've all got a bit desperate- and I had faith that as it was a special, five hours in total, they would have to knock the standard up a bit.

These episodes of Torchwood were really good- a good story I mean. The problems only occurred when there were moments of dialogue unrelated to the children-are-alien-crack plot, ie whenever Ianto talks to Jack in a boyfriend-capacity his character seems to get more and more blah, and nobody cares when he dies.

I like Gwen and I like her average bloke husband, I even ended up liking Ianto's comic relief family, but Ianto and Jack together were so boring! How could a relationship ever have happened between them when Ianto had NO personality!?! Jack is also boring and very one-dimensional for a character who has supposedly broken all sci-fi boundaries or whatever...

The supporting cast and characters on the other hand are what made the five-day special very watchable, I loved the girl who was their spy on the inside, she was the best Torchwood team member. Sea-gully (Paul Copley) was great as a convincing looney, Peter Capaldi was fabulously teary as usual and Nick Farrell was, as usual, confusingly gorgeous as the slimy PM.

Anyway, it is a shame that Torchwood is over after these episodes proved that it wasn't all shite. But I think Torchwood fans probably missed the "sexy banter" and all the inbreeding going on in the office, whereas I appreciated it as a good fun piece of science fiction and felt it was at it's worse when Ianto wasn't focused on saving the Earth and instead was sighing; "Jack, will you still remember me in 1000 years? sob, cry, etc."