Emil and the Detectives (National Theatre)

I went to see the National Theatre’s Christmas show on the preview night a couple of weeks ago. It was good fun but I regretted not having any children with me. I don’t know, it wasn’t my cup of tea, and maybe it’s cruel to say so but I didn’t enjoy it because I just didn’t think the kids were good enough! Maybe they’ll get better (or are better already!) with practicing the show but the majority of them were just not very good at projecting their lines. I was not that far away from the stage and I had trouble understanding what they were saying. Also, and yeah, I guess this is cruel, I just thought all of them lacked charm. There were only two of the child actors who I thought were charming and that I’d want to be friends with if I was a kid.

Still though, the children in the audience loved it and I could see how special it would feel to go there as a family for your Christmas show.

The Pirates in an Adventure with Scientists (2012)

AMAZING! How did I miss this!? Where the hell was I when it came out?! I remember vaguely seeing some kind of promotion but I just thought "Ugh, more pirates!" for some reason, despite it being clearly Aardman I thought it was going to be full of stupid American jokes, fuck, it was so British! An amazing voice-cast and the jokes, both verbal and all the beautiful visuals. God, it was lovely! It made me instantly go out and buy it.

Also it made me finally fancy Hugh Grant after hearing that women fancy him for twenty five years, now that he's a clay pirate I totally get it.

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

Hello "Things I have watched and Seen blog" prepare to be reminded of the crap I've seen in the last four months! Starting with this particular piece of crap that I had the misfortune of seeing when it was out! Disappointing! And as usual 3D just gives me a headache!

Edinburgh Fringe 2012 DAYTRIP

I wasn't sure if I would visit my pals at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, but I booked a daytrip for me and Rob, an early train and a late train back to York, four shows of different genres and enough time for a big dinner at the steak and mussles place! I actually booked the trip when I thought my friend Suzie was coming from America so they were all chosen with her in mind! Suzie is into sporty things and arty things, also she is a published children's author/illustrator, so she likes kids things too! So the four shows I picked were Peter and the Wolf performed by two Russian clowns with minamilist puppets! Leo, a one man dance sensation! The Man Who Planted Trees, a nice little eco-puppet story half in French and my friends' comedy sketch show A Brief History of Scotland, so she could meet them! If I'd have known I was picking for Rob I would have cut the first three!! It turned out he did like my friends' show the best, lot of laughs! I have reviewed it before but there were new sketches and tighter old sketches, it was great. DBS are an excellent young theatre company, I'm proud to have been involved in a few of their ventures!



So we arrived in Edinburgh in the rain (August, of course it's raining!) went straight to John Lewis and had a massive breakfast while looking out of their cafe windows at the rooftops, this was a highlight! It didn't rain all day, Peter and the Wolf was good fun, the first half anyway, when they played the record and acted it out, the second half had odd new-age lift-muzak playing while they fucked about like a couple of idiots, that way you left the show with awful music in your head instead of the recognisable tune you enjoyed in the first half! We then had a coffee and went to see Leo. Flip!! He was amazing! I can't even begin to describe how clever it was, maybe there's a youtube video I can post here. Again, it went on a bit too long but otherwise I really liked watching it. Then The Man Who Planted Trees, which I saw last year and booked because I thought Suzie would like it, it was just as good as last year. Love that dog puppet. After seeing my pals' show and Rob meeting them and having a drink we had an amazing big meal at mussles and steak, then we came home- man we were TIRED!

Matilda, Cambridge Theatre

For my birthday Anna got me the soundtrack from Matilda, we'd seen in two months previously the day after seeing Henry V. I hadn't really been too bothered, I didn't know what they'd done to it, I only knew Bertie Carvell was supposed to be very good in it. He was. He was! I'm glad we saw it before he left. Matilda was an excellent musical. The songs were great and the story and characters, though a little changed, much more faithful to the book than the sludgy-sentimental-american film. I mean, the Trunchbull was the best thing in the film, it was like Pam Ferris was born to play the part, she was a drill sergeant who had no time for small people, she was practically a big scary man, perfect. Perfect until you see Bertie Carvel. Bertie Carvel, a big scary man, played the Trunchbull like a little girl, her brain not developed enough to understand what's right and wrong, her brain only capable of understanding how to throw the hammer, how to do things by the rules, scared and disturbed by children but with the muscle and gigantic size to accidentally or maybe not accidentally KILL. Fuck, now THAT was terrifying. There were loads of school groups in when we saw the matinee, there was a special needs school in the stalls, every time the Truchbull appeared they all wailed in terror. Christ!!

War Horse (New London Theatre)

My Norweigan pal came to stay last month, she is a big theatre junkie, but she prefers musicals. She told me to book us a show that she hadn't seen. I booked War Horse, because all though Linn didn't want anything too heavy, I thought she would enjoy it on an aesthetic level if nothing else.
I saw War Horse at the National a couple of years ago with my emotionally stunted sister, so I had to hold in the tears so as not to embarrass her and I nearly died in the process. This time I was with Linn and Alison and at the end we were all sobbing tears of grief and joy- the best kind of tears.
War Horse is Spectacular.
The puppetry is amazing. Less than ten seconds in you will believe the horses are real. You will worry for the actors safety when the horses freak out, you'll think "god, those horses could hurt someone!" they are that well designed and performed.
The music is beautiful and emotive, the stage craft is excellent and hasn't changed that much since the theatre switch, the story is TOO emotional. If you're an emotional cripple, like I am, go to War Horse once a year, it's so much better than a breakdown, just let it all out.
Alison started crying when Joey turned from a foal into a grown horse, that was only 15 minutes in!
I don't care if they're making a film, I'm not interested, nothing could compare to this experience, a real horse will never be as engaging or as charming and tragic as the puppet Joey. I effing love War Horse.

A Simple Wish (1997)

My small cousins found this in my DVD collection over the Easter weekend and decided they wanted to watch it.
A Simple Wish is brilliant. Martin Short plays male fairy godmother (they had to let him pass the exam because otherwise they'd be accused of sexism, despite the fact he undoubtedly failed) the way you'd expect him to play it. This is before the Damages days so we'd only ever seen Marty play a total nut, but never a threatening nut, that is most important.
I used to love this film, I was thirteen when I first saw it and loving Martin Short in the innocent way that I did I did not see anything sinister about it at all. I made my grown up pals watch it last year and they were extremely creeped out by it. He is twitchy and awkward and he tells 8 year-old Mara Wilson (Matilda) not to tell anyone about him. He arrives in her room in the middle of the night and despite being a creepy middle-aged man she accepts he is a fairy godmother... Ok, so I see their point, maybe it is kind of weird and it wouldn't get made in the same way today. I was worried the kids would think it was weird this weekened, but guess what- they loved it.
Yep! It is magical! And the fact that he's awkward and useless isn't creepy, it's funny and cute.
I was so relieved that I googled Marty to see what the heck he's been up to these last few years, he hasn't made a film for ages! I was horrified to find out that his wife died last year, really, really awful. I completely loved him when I was small and I remember reading about a lot of his family dying when he was young, I couldn't think of anything more horrific to happen to someone who from what I remember in those old interviews obviously just wanted a happy healthy family of his own. I'm glad his kids are all quite grown up and they have him. Poor Marty. He was my total hero when I was small.

Old Reviews 4: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (2005)

I just saw the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with my friend Lindsay, she didn't like it, but I tell you I've never cried so much in one cinema. I couldn't stop, everytime Bailey and Tibby's bits of the story came on all I could taste was tears spluttering out of my mouth, it was so embarrassing.
But seriously, I'd seen the trailer about a hundred times and thought no way, each time, that looks so crap. But then I wanted to see it 'cause I wanted to do a comic about me Lauren and Susie sharing a pair of jeans, so I reckoned I'd better see the movie if I'm to take the piss out of it.
It's about these four girls buying a pair of jeans that they share on their seperate holidays... One's a blonde tart who wants to bone her football coach at football camp. One's a moany bitch who has to watch her dad get remarried to a family of nazis. One's a prude with a face like a child making out with a very young Antonio Banderas while her Greek grandparents spit on her, and the last one's a kick ass arty type making a documetary with her new best friend cute-12-year-old-girl!
So basically I hated the blonde one becaue I know so many people like that, and sports sucks big time anyway. I didn't like the one that was telling the story who had to watch her father get married, she was extremely annoying, and as self-centered as the blonde. The one with a face like a child was ok, but I thought her sketches were crap, I liked the guy who looked like Antonio Banderas that she fell in love with, he was the good part of her story. I liked the one who befriended the 12 year old, I liked her story the best and Brian McBrian is the best name for a character, he was cool.
But christ, when Tibby found out Bailey (the kid) had leukemia I cried through almost all their scenes, I sort of found myself thinking 'god, I hope she dies soon so I can stop crying!!' Oh it was so sad, but the girl and the kid were so good! Good actors I mean! I wish I had a cool twelve year old friend who would carry my sketch book for me when I go out drawing.... that would be handy. I wouldn't want a sick one though, that would be depressing.

2011 Author's Note: I guess it must have been my time of the month or something...

Worzel Gummidge (1979-1981)

Worzel is one of my earliest book-memories, audio-book-memories and tv-memories. Somehow I remember all three when I try and think back as far as I can... I can picture Worzel falling backwards in Ten-acre Field very clearly as he does in the end credits of the TV show I watched repeats of as a child. I can hear Jon Pertwee's voice proposing marriage to a lady scarecrow and then telling her he's going to kick her head off if she doesn't accept him from the audio book I listened to when I first had tonsilitis. And I can see the illustrations of ferocious Aunt Sally, the one in the book, the one who's actually his aunt- not his cruel but cute love interest.
I got the boxset of Worzel for Christmas, I haven't watched the series they made six years later in New Zealand, I'm not sure if I should... I've just finished watching the 30 original episodes and I think I will wait a while before tainting it, I often wish I'd never seen the second series of Catweazle.
I feel both happy and extremely sad while watching Worzel, the British countryside and village teashop, climbing over fences and kids wearing clothes that could be from any time between 1945 and 1985. I feel like it was my childhood -especially my holidays, but maybe it wasn't, maybe it was the things I read in my childhood and I'm just remembering it wrong. It makes me sad that childhood isn't going to be like that for future kids and sad that what I draw and how I think is nostalgic, when I draw children they look like Susan and John. And that's just the look of Worzel. The characters and the scripts they make me happy and sad too.
I remember enjoying the books as a child, but they are odd books, they are amusing, but they're quite sinister. Worzel was a sometimes angry sometimes miserable weirdo, completely disinterested in the children, just going about his business. Lots of these classic kids' books and TV shows rely on the idea that children have secret friendships with these grown-up freaks (Stig of the Dump, Worzel, Catweazle, et al.) No wonder TV has got so boring, kids wouldn't be allowed to be friends with a creepy old scarecrow nowadays.
The TV show doees have the odd unsettling episode every now and then- these are the ones that stick to the books quite well and usually feature Geoffrey Bayldon wheeling about on his bike dressed as an undertaker- but there are jolly episodes too with singing and dancing and cake throwing. The main thrill for me comes from Una Stubbs' superb comic timing, I think she is the funniest woman I've ever seen, I only remembered Aunt Sally from the books- and I was scared of her. If I'd have remembered Una I would have smiled more widely at her when she walked past me last August in Chichester. She is perfectly horrible and aggressive, but so amusing, physically she is brilliantly funny, a look from her, a subtle grab at a plate of sausages or watching her cram a cake into her mouth has me laughing out loud. She was very physically funny in the two plays I saw last year, but she didn't feature heavily, maybe that's why I didn't mention her.
And yet it is because of this re-written character that Worzel is such a tragic programme, I watched an episode today where kind, giggly Dolly Clothes Peg (a pretty manequin played by Lorraine Chase) asks Worzel to marry her but Worzel chooses the selfish cruel wooden doll who will never love him instead despite knowing this and knowing he could be happy with the other. The last shot was of Dolly Clothes Peg looking back for a moment with her fingers crossed before turning back to her lonely walk home with tears rolling down her face.
So many episodes, I'd say more than half, end with a character being disappointed by their own existence. And usually so disappointed that they are weeping! I mean, god! It's utterly tragic! and then it cuts to the jolly theme tune!
I like things that make me sad, I enjoy Worzel all the more when after a chaotic episode we see Aunt Sally with all her dreams of grandeur and adventure looking sadly out of her attic window knowing she's just a fairground doll. Or lovestruck Worzel believing Sal when she says she'll look after his money then watching her march straight into a clothes shop and spending it before he walks away with tears in his eyes. It's not just a children's show then, it's reality! It's so sad. Remember when Catweazle disappeared and Carrot just walked sadly back to his farm, that was perfect! I don't want to watch the New Zealand episodes and find they are not tragic, I think that would be completely awful.

Stardust (2007)

I refused to see this film at the cinema purely on the basis it contained Ricky Gervais, a man so undeserving of fame and fortune it makes my flesh-crawl, or perhaps he just makes my flesh crawl, anyhoo- I saw it on TV a year ago and I adored it. Just to make things clear, I think that even though Gervais is perfect for the part (a flesh-crawly creep) they could have got an actor in, after all, the film is full of talent, why not go the whole hog!?

Yes, Stardust is a joy, a magical fantastical, adventure in the vein of The Princess Bride, it's not as clever or funny but it's more action packed AND there's more British actors! Yes, there are a couple of bum notes in it; Sienna Miller is awful, but again, playing an appropriately hateful character. The lead could do with being a bit more charming and definitely could do with being more handsome, but if he were too handsome (see The Princess Bride) there wouldn't be any point in having such an amazing ensemble! Robert De Niro and Dexter Fletcher are great together, Michelle Pfeiffer is super hot, and my god, Mark Strong (see above) is gorgeous! Hooray for wigs!!!

Home Alone (1990)

"Marv, why the hell d'ya take your shoes off?!"

"Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?"

Every year we the family watch the following films at Christmas time; Home Alone, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, The Bishop's Wife, It's a Wonderful Life, The Muppet's Christmas Carol. We also watch Holiday Inn but we do that on New Year's.

Without fail, the real start of the Chritmas films, on the night of the 22nd we watch Home Alone, we watch it on the 22nd so we can watch Home Alone 2 on the 23rd! I know this sounds properly mental but when I think about Home Alone, the music, the 90s, I get emotional. I feel Christmassy, it may be schmaltzy and American but that's only the lines Kevin says, and really we know Kevin can't be that pukeatronic because he's so badass too.

I know the script to Home Alone by heart. It's brilliant writing, it is hilarious. There are so many quotable lines. I wish I could watch Home Alone every day, but watching it once a year makes it more magical, I know that the next day (today!) will be spent getting the last of the food shopping and putting up the last decorations before Home Alone 2, and then after that it's Christmas Eve and we'll pick up the turkey from the butcher's, hoover the house, put out tthe presents and then start the feasting and cry at the Muppets. Christmas to me is about food and those films up there. I could do without Holiday Inn to tell you the truth, by then I'm waiting for the 22nd of December to come around again and watch Home Alone.

"I'm up here, you big horse's ass!"

Candleshoe (1977)

As if it wasn't obvious Jodie Foster wasn't uber-gay right from the beginning! In this Disney film angry little American tomboy Jodie decides to go in with Leo McKern to scam an old British lady out of a fortune by pretending to be her long lost granddaughter- whether she actually is or not is never revealed.
Jodie gets the riches in the end of course, she has to solve a bunch of clues to get them too, that's an old Disney style adventure for you... but she learns that family and friends and being British are more important, with the help of some loveable orphans (older boy, rival girl, cute cockney boy and token asian kid) and David Niven.
I love David Niven. Shouldn't I be watching The Bishop's Wife like right now?! My fave actors of old are himself and Anton Walbrook, the warm charm of Niv and the intensity of theatrical Walbrook, tha's what I love.
In Candleshoe Dave, as the butler, has to disguise the fact that there is no more money and cuts costs by disguising himself as the gardener, the chauffeur and the only visitor who ever comes to the house, a handsome old colonel. What ridiculous crap! Loved it!

Catweazle (1969-70)

I got a Catweazle boxset for my birthday. I've been asking for it these past three birthdays and Christmases and finally the family caved in... they didn't cave in so much to buy me the 40th Anniversary special boxset with commentaries, documentaries, reunions and postcards in it, no, they bought me the boxset with dutch subtitles and no extras. But never mind, when I'm rich and famous it's at the top of my list.

I've been asking for Catweazle for so long because I really enjoy The Ghosts of Motley Hall- written by Richard Carpenter after he wrote his more famous children's sitcom. I bought Tony Robinson's Maid Marian and her Merry Men complete series recently and they're as good as I remembered them. There are lots of shit kids' shows out there, everything except Sorry I've Got No Head actually, but in the past there have been some real crackers. Big Kids with Imogen Stubbs was a nice one and the recently cancelled Young Dracula was brilliantly written and acted- something rare these days what with the shortage of good child actors on British screens, don't get me started on how I despise that kid from Outnumbered who I predicted would be the new Just William and ruin it for another generation... Thank God for audio books.

So I finally got to see Catweazle. And it was wonderful. It was magical and it was funny and it was quite sad. Beautifully shot and acted, the boy was lovely and likable, the guest stars- Brian Wilde, Peter Sallis, Peter Butterworth, all brilliant. And weirdly, that first series shot in 1969, looked timeless. Farms still look like that, boys still look and dress like that!! I adored it.

Series two by comparison was disappointing. Aside from changing the dynamic of the show- in the first series Catweazle just didn't understand anything and every episode was him being freaked out by modern times, in the second he knew about everything and had a mission, so you automatically knew what to expect from every episode- aside from the way it had somehow lost all it's sadness and soul by becoming almost slapstick, the main problem for me was the boy.

You cannot expect an audience to relate to- or like!- a snobby squirt who tells Catweazle he's too busy for magic in every episode and lives in a gigantic manor house, perfectly content. He was hateful from the get-go! Carrot was a slightly downtrodden yet permanently cheerful and interested farmboy! Owlface was a fucking twonk. I hated his specky gob and I wanted to punch him.

The final episode of the second series almost recaptured the poignancy of the first series when Catweazle at last gets his greatest wish and flies off into the sunset in his hot air balloon, I say almost, it would have done if the camera hadn't panned back to Milhouse's stupid smug face! Argh!!

Anyway, Carpenter obviously learned his lesson by the time he wrote and cast The Ghosts of Motley Hall, the boy in that was a lovely, eager to help, poor, dead stableboy. Freddie Jones played a brilliantly mad character similar to the one that Peter Butterworth played in the first series of Catweazle (not the part he played in the second- that was a waste of Butterworth), Sheila Staefel was a really strong and funny female character (there were none of these in Catweazle), Arthur English provided the soul and the same relationship that Catweazle and Carrot had with Matt the Stableboy, and because we needed some sort of fool, a young Nicholas le Prevost provided drunken comic relief and has been providing it ever since.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Brilliant and utterly, horrifyingly heartbreaking- definitely not for kids. But then the other films out there that have made me cry have not made me laugh out loud nearly so much. It was most excellent.

I especially liked how they made Andy look like Zac Effron.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Tim Burton's Alice may have looked amazing in 3D on a big screen, but this 3D gimmick is still in it's infancy, the impressive graphics were lost in translation on my normal HD tv and the whole thing just looked like a horrible video-game. In fact, the whole thing seemed like an advertisement for one big boring Disney game.

The thing about Alice in Wonderland is that it is a series of nonsense poems and sketches, to try and give the characters backgrounds and plot-lines is utterly pointless, it annoys purists and it ruins classic characters. This "sequel" was pointless, the idea that Alice went back to reality again was utterly unbelievable, she had nothing waiting for her and when she got back she did nothing to better herself other than a short embarrassing dance.

Either stay with Johnny Depp and all the other mad characters who quite frankly were not in the least bit mad- just annoying. Or got back to reality kill Gerry James and mary Tim Pigott-Smith, that's what I would have done.

Bedtime Stories (CBeebies)

I watched a load of these at Christmas and then forgot about how flipping great they are!

So I write and illustrate books for children- that's my job, or at least, that's what I'm trying to do! So this programme that showcases new work -but also does a lot of old favourites- is obviously a dream for me: "One day an actor will read out my book on Bedtime Stories!"

Yeah, it's like Jackanory used to be except the books are usually between four and eight minutes long so if they're rubbish it doesn't matter! I used to love Jackanory, I thought they were all good but of course we have George's Marvelous Medicine read/performed by Rick Mayall on video and watch it yearly.

I've watched lots of actors doing Bedtime Stories and I think what's even more exciting is the range of actors they get in to do different books (I am excited now as both children's writer/illustrator AND actor-phile) David Tennant (above) is by far the best reader of bedtime stories, though I also enjoyed David Harewood very much. It's funny because it's not the people you'd expect who are the best, I assumed Kenneth Brannagh would be great- but I had to turn him off! He was cringey and hammy. Tennant I thought would be creepy and overenthusiastic, but he uses his natural gentle Scottish voice and is extremely charming, he's like your big sister's boyfriend reading you a story rather than Kenny who was like a boring old uncle.

So who would I have reading out my story? I wonder if the authors have any say in the matter...

"Excuse me, I'd like Jonathan Pryce to read out 'Timby and the Great Cake Robbery' if you don't mind."

"Tough luck, you're getting John Thompson."

Children's Films; Coraline(2009), Penelope(2006), Prince Charming(2001)

Well, you can gladly forget anything nice I said about Martin Short a couple of weeks ago, Prince Charming was diabolically bad. A horribly weak version of Les Visiteurs with terrible cgi and a waste of Bernadette Peters and Billy Connolly.

So I joined the library and rented three films last week- children's films of course.

We in the house of Children's Illustration had been told by our friends that Coraline was worth a watch, Linn insisted it was traditional animation (it was actually a combination of cgi and stop-motion) and Lauren insisted you had to see it drunk and in 3D... It was a really trippy film that started off too quickly and then went on and on and on. We were all sober and had no idea what was happening. But it looked pretty and the casting of Teri Hatcher's voice as a disgusting bony old witch was spot on.

Penelope could have been much better than it was but it also suffered from a rushed, confused beginning and far too many sexual innuendos (in your end-o) for a children's flick- though not as many as Prince Charming which was frankly GROSS. The cast was good and everyone did well with their American accents (to accommodate three actual Americans in an all British ensemble). Lots of underused actors (including the romantic lead James MacAvoy!) Russell Brand appeared for no reason and didn't even get any jokes so you can't blame him for the innuendos. It was funny however to see Nigel Havers a self proclaimed Letter Box Actor turn up as someone's dad; brilliant over-acting, just what you need in a kids' film- So in this sense of course Richard E. Grant as Penelope's dad was also brill.

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009)

Last night (the day after graduation) we (the original gang) went to see Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr Fox.

Roald Dahl's original story was my favourite book as a child, I had a version illustrated not by Quentin Blake like all the others, but by Tony Ross, my favourite illustrator (see Towser), I expect the coupling of my favourite illustrator with the best children's writer ever made it my favourite.

Wes Anderson's film is really nice. I imagine it would be truly amazing if it wasn't your favourite childhood book! I really liked it and it was exactly as I expected after having seen the mad trailer. All the original story is in there but with more so that the characters sort-of learn morals and grow emotionally (in the book Foxy just stole a load of food and everyone loved him- in the film they were all pretty angry with him at that point!!) Anyway, the script was mad and very Wes Anderson, if you liked the Darjeeling Limited (which I did) you will like this.

It sort of looks like a Cravendale advert. The stop motion animation takes a while to get going- the beginning felt very static- lots of long shots where the only thing moving is the character, not the billions of dollars animation we're now used to. In fact it reminded me of stop motion of my youth, maybe it would look better on the small screen!! It sort of warmed up, I wonder if the animators did each scene in order and so got the hang of it and put in more detail as the film went on.

It's nice, just disconnect the two. It didn't feel like Roald Dahl- even if the plot is sort of similar!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

We (all six of us) went to see HP6 yesterday afternoon, Anna and I are seeing it again tomorrow morning before the schools break up. The reason we have to see it again is because as well as being quite exhausted from the non-stop entertaining, dinner-making and day-tripping we've been doing this week while we had guests (not to mention me sleeping on "the brown" for four nights), the film was so damn exciting and full of "good bits" that I really don't think I took them all in in one viewing!!

Yes, those who know me (which I assume is all who read this blog) know that Harry Potter is high up on the list of Amy's interests, if she was to go on Mastermind then Harry Potter would probably be at least second choice for specialist subject- if not first. Harry Potter is my life. Harry Potter has been my life for ten years. Sure, I might also say that Drop the Dead Donkey is my life- and I frequently dream entirely new episodes and wake up convinced that they resurrected it, and I watched it. Anyway, every time I go on the internet I check (a)my emails, (b)the Jonathan Pryce Appreciation Society message board and (c)The Leaky Cauldron- ie Harry Potter News. So in short, I've been looking forward to this film for AGES.

And oh my god, everyone, almost EVERYONE has suddenly learned how to act!! Even Alan Rickman has learned how to act!! I was so happy! I say I'm a fan of Harry Potter, that doesn't mean I think the films are great- I do think they're great, but I think there's tons of things wrong with them; I can't stand Emma Watson's eyebrow-acting, I didn't like Daniel Radcliffe, I hate how everyone is cast around the mis-casting of Alan Rickman as the 60-year-old Snape, I don't like how certain characters and certain actors are given less screen time than everyone else, and I obviously hate the appalling CGI. BUT I love changes that have been made for the better plot-wise, I love certain kid-actors in them (Neville, Draco, Luna, etc.) I adore Michael Gambon's Dumbledore, I love most of the casting- the mad British ensemble, and I love the running commentaries that me and Kirandeep or me and Anna have developed over the years. The films are fun, but I don't expect good acting or good adaptations after all these years.

The Half-Blood Prince was obviously as good an adaptation as any other Potter film, nice little changes, and big ones!- burning down a significant building to get out of the fact they omitted certain characters that were extremely important to the final book's opening! No building- no wedding! Changing Ginny's character to adapt to Bonnie Wright's flat and uninspired performance, ho hum, it had to be done. She can't be feisty and passionate when the actress is so blah (This pains me to say btw, I've always liked Bonnie's face and was convinced that she'd be great as soon as they let her have some lines, turns out she's the worst and I desperately missed Neville and Luna who were practically cameos). The only thing I really missed from this one is that Uncy Morphin was omitted, he was comedy gold, surely?!

I'm too excited about seeing it again to even try and review this properly, so I'm concentrating on performances- the film as a story was jam-packed and the kids' romances were most entertaining, hilarious, excellent and heartwarming (Ron's and Hermione's anyway) the only criticism I have of the Half-Blood Prince was that when the HBP's identity was revealed I forgot I was supposed to care, because in the book it's all you want to know! Who is he? What is this mystery?! But in the film because so many other exciting things were happening I forgot I was supposed to be wondering who the Half-Blood Prince was. Could have done with a couple more scenes: one of Harry sprouting theories like "maybe it's my mum!" "maybe it's Voldemort!" "Maybe it's Sirius!" whoever, and later a scene of Hermione saying: "Yeah Snape's mum's maiden name," so that people don't leave the cinema thinking, "Snape is royalty!?"

I don't like Emma Watson in any of the film, over acting eyebrows spring to mind, so I wasn't expecting much, but I adored her!! I couldn't believe it! I had tears in my eyes! I felt so bad for Hermione! She was so cute and funny and not stuck-up or anything that Hermione usually is!! They gave her scenes where she wasn't up-herself and in control, she was normal and vulnerable and sad! I thought she was great! Much more like book-Hermione!

Rupert Grint was as usual great, my favourite line after the first viewing was when Harry asks what Ginny sees in Dean and Ron says as though it's obvious: "He's brilliant!" Not enough Luna, though good that they changed some things so she got more screen-time. Fuck-all Neville! Good comic relief though, they'll make sure he's great in the last film. Jessie Cave's Lav-lav was super cute, I loved her scenes but Cormac McClaggen was the fucking BOMB, that guy was brilliant, never before has quidditch been exciting or funny, but he was genius (so was Ron) on a broom, and genius in all his skin-crawling slimy scenes pursuing Hermione.

Draco, who has been my favourite since it began- best child actor, well, I was disappointed that he didn't get more lines, but at least he was there. At least he was always acting in the background, and when he did get to do some acting it was excellent. I didn't like it when he was crying, it made me sad, some girls in the front row laughed and I wanted to shout "Shut up!" it's a shame they didn't keep in Moaning Myrtle, didn't show enough of Draco's human side that he was always on his own crying. The boys playing young Mr Riddle were fab, both really creepy, the little one was scary and the middle-sized one was terrifying!

Now to Radcliffe. There's no doubt he has improved in every film, and no doubt that off-screen he is a charming (though intense and mad) young man, well, suddenly Harry was a charming young man. In fact, when Radcliffe does comedy he is at his best (which is a shame considering all the bad shit that happens to Harry) lots of scenes with Ron- and the scenes with Slughorn when Harry is "high" were fucking hilarious. He was much more Daniel Radcliffe than Harry Potter and I loved it. Luckily though Radcliffe is also good at "pain" and the action scenes were great.

Slughorn may look the complete opposite of his on-page description but it didn't matter, Jim Broadbent played Jim Broadbent as always and was just fine. Helen McCrory wasn't in it enough for me to care about how awful her hair was, Tonks and Remus were cute but not in it enough. As per usual it is down to Rickers to ruin the film with his dramatic pauses and inappropriate hamming.

Will update tomorrow. It was great, but especially if you know the book (and so understand everything they don't explain)- and if you don't know the book by now, why the hell are you going to see the film?!

Just William TV series announced for 2010.

no. No. NO. I know that child-actors have become more likeable lately, well, some of them, some times, I mean Freddie Highmore was perfectly cast in Finding Neverland as the tragic weepy child- but anything he's done where he's played an upbeat boy was horribly unnerving. The religious one in Son of Rambow is only good as an annoying weirdo and I fucking HATE the kid in Outnumbered we're all supposed to love. I tell you, if I saw that kid, I'd punch him right in his annoying fat face... Ahem, my favourite child actor of recent films is Son of Rambow's co-star with the pudding face (Will Poulter). He'd be a good William.

But no. NO! There shouldn't be a Just William TV series!! They've all failed miserably!! Remember the 90s one? *shudder* he was so clean and smug! Ugh, who was that little twat?! I adore Just William!! It should be made officially untouchable, can't Richmal Crompton's estate do something?! Can't Martin Jarvis do something?!

I mean, Tony Ross is one of my favourite illustrators, but I HATE what he's done to William! That shouldn't have been allowed!! Thomas Henry's illustrations are timeless!! and that image of William (see above) should be the only one that's allowed.

Martin Jarvis is apparently acting as consultant, but what power can he possibly have?! Written by fucking Men Behaving Badly and Reggie Perrin writer Simon Nye?! Fuck, if Martin Clunes is playing Mr Brown the BBC is asking for me to take up a shotgun and kill people.

Obviously I'm going to watch it. But Nothing will ever be better than the books- except on car journeys where you can't read and need Martin Jarvis to read it to you.

"General Malt walking, General Malt walking, ladies and gentlemen."