Lost in Austen (ITV 2008)

Wide Saragasso Sea is the world's most accepted fanfic. Don't know the meaning of the word "fanfic"? Let me explain, Lost in Austen is a typical example of a fanfic.

A character who is not supposed to be in Pride and Prejudice turns up with intersting hair and all the characters fall in love with her, fucking up and ruining the beloved novel. It is something teenagers all over the world do when they learn to write. I myself, though no longer a teenager, indulge in writing fanfiction, fair enough the things I write are not your typical "But then Snape reaslised he did love [insert ridiculous Bratz-doll style name] even though she was only 16 and it turned out he was ridiculously hot and well endowed the end." I don't do that, well, not anymore...

The idea that someone can get their fanfic turned into a TV series starring a lot of really really good British actors is mental, isn't it? Fanfics are drivel, aren't they? Yes, they are. And essentially Lost in Austen is drivel, but it is so enjoyable!

I don't even like Jane Austen let alone Pride and Prejudice but I have watched Lost in Austen so many times! The Mary-Sue (Jemima Rooper's Amanda) is so likeable! She's not an uber-babe with a mysterious past, she's a normal girl who just happens to fall into her favourite novel. She swears and kicks people in the balls, she is ACE.

And the characters, they are as they are on the page! The Bennet sisters are all appalling! Lizzy is normal (cameo from Gemma Arterton) Jane the beauty is weird looking- pale and pointy, the kind of face that was considered beautiful back then! The others are just silly girls! Mr and Mrs Bennet are so well written, Hugh Bonnenville on excellent form! Alex Kingston playing it like Miss Piggy, fussing and fuming! Mr Bingley is an idiot and his sister a horrible cow! Darcy is gorgeous like Heath Ledger and Collins, well, Collins is unbelievably disgusting.

Played with such relish by Guy Henry, I liked him already but after seeing this, I adored him. He is utterly utterly vile as Mr Collins. In the Keira Knightley film he's played by Tom Hollander, who plays it pious and uptight but he is not physically repulsive! These girls are supposed to be revolted by the idea of marrying him and Guy Henry does it such justice.

I made my Canadian friend Katie watch this after we went to see Harry Potter, I had told her "Guy Henry's in it, he looks like one of your drawings; a long, creepy undertaker." And he does look long and weird, but he has a spectacularly beautiful face, maybe not shown off in the Potter movie and certianly while he gurns and simpers through Lost in Austen you don't see it often, but there are moments when his face is at rest that you can see those dark dark eyes framed by lovely long black eyelashes... sigh! He's one of my favourite actors.

I love Lost in Austen. Everything goes so wrong and Amanda tries so hard to fix it. Best thing ITV has done in 25 years.

Bleak Expectations Series FOUR

Anna and I went to see two episodes of the new series of Bleak Expectations being recorded.

Bleak Expectations is ace. We watched episodes three and four being recorded, the second one was much much stronger than the first, what a relief, Mark Evans hasn't lost it. I won't go into detail but the Robinson Crusoe bits were hilarious.

The BBC Radio Theatre is gorgeous (and not in this picture of series two being recorded!) lovely art deco. And as we were on the guest list (yeah, that's right, guest list!) we got to sit very close to the front and appreciate the amount of facial expressions the actors did while in character. Anthony Head obviously has a brilliant time playing Gently Benevolent- ironically the cruelest and most horrid man in all of Victorian Britain.

Cold Comfort Farm (1995)

I don't know why I never got around to reviewing Soccer-Aid on here, that was the last thing I watched on TV and really enjoyed! I always enjoy Cold Comfort Farm. Every time Anna and I have a visitor we educate them in the ways of the world through DVDs, usually with a Bronte TV drama to accompany their inevitable trip to Haworth and then after a walk in the countryside around our house Cold Comfort is usually (appropriately) viewed.

Anna's guest was American Maddy, she is not the first American to be subjected to Cold Comfort and Jane Eyre (Ruth Wilson & Toby Stephens), next thing Maddy knows she'll be sat in front of Brideshead Revisited or the complete Blackadder, that's what I did to my American...

This is going to be a bold statement: I like Cold Comfort Farm as much as I like Withnail & I- and not just because some of it is filmed in the same tea room-it is all extremely quotable. It is of course almost word perfect to the book but the casting is what really makes it a joy every six-months (I could watch it every week I reckon). It is an all-star cast, but none of them probably as massive in 1995 as they are now. And it is the role, out of all he has played on screen, that Rufus Sewell is most perfect in, the role that he should have lived, hell, if he really was Seth in 1930 he would have been a HUGE movie star. The way they shoot his scenes are brilliantly funny, he is perfect for that role. Le sigh! And lead Kate Beckinsale is adorable, if she'd have stayed in Britain she wouldn't have all the fame and riches that she has now in Hollywood but she would have continued to shine in lead roles in TV drama, her film roles of the last ten years have been nothing special, look how bloody funny and sharp she was in this! Jesus fuck! Brits are wasted in America!

Anyway, I like word perfect adaptations of good books, this one is one of the best (and the bits they changed I don't care about! Rennet and Reuben are good together!). I even like Stephen Fry's comic turn, though I suppose it was made before he was on EVERY channel EVERY night in self-indulgent TV documentaries.

Bleak Expectations Series Three Episode Three: A Sort of Fine Life De-niced Completely

I have to say that so far I do not think this series of Bleak Expectations is up to it's former standard. But seeing as it's former standard was brilliant I guess it is hard to continue writing a Dickensian spoof with the same eight or nine major characters throughout eighteen half-hour episodes and keep it fresh!

What made each episode for me was the incarnation of Geoffrey Whitehead that was met each week by our heroes Pip Bin (inventor of the bin) and Harry Biscuit (crap inventor and lovable oaf). Of course Mr Gently Benevolent (ironically the most evil man in Britain) played by Anthony Head is wonderful and show-stealing each week, but I've always liked Geoffrey Whitehead's characters the best. He has such brilliant delivery and a fantastic voice for evil. Out of all the Hardthrashers, Sternbeaters and Wackwallops he has played so far (15 now we're on episode 15) I liked the original Mr Hardthrasher, headmaster of St Bastard's School for Boys... What am I talking about!? I was going to say I liked him the best, but that's such a lie! I liked ALL of them!!

My point for this week's offering is that Mr Wackwallop running Pip's Bin factory was a waste of Whitehead!! That character was not good enough! I liked him as the Police Inspector in the first episode and the psychiatrist (De-mentaliser) in the Scrooge/Harvest Festival episode the week before, but I even felt then that they were not nearly stupid nor Dickensian enough!!

-I've just read that back, probably the words "Scrooge/Harvest Festival" coupled with the opinion "not nearly stupid nor Dickensian enough" is a bit rich and I apologise. The programme is still ridiculously funny. It's my favourite radio show and I have mp3s of all of them which I regularly listen to. I can't wait to add the 6 Wackwallops to my epic drawing of the characters.

Listen on the iplayer here and check out my drawing here!

A Very Potter Musical

I was tired so I thought, ok I'll watch the first two 8 minute sections on youtube and if it's any good I'll watch a bit more tomorrow. Then I was like, well, I'll watch to the end of the first act... But anyway, I watched it all. All three hours.

Wonderful performances, wonderful script, wonderful special effects, wonderful staging and awesome songs!

The parody condenses all seven Harry Potter books into one jam-packed year at Hogwarts, Harry has miles more charisma as a guitar playing teenager who likes being famous than Dan Rads or book-Potter, I liked this Potter. Ron was good as a constantly eating jack-ass and Hermione and Ginny were good support. But the show belongs to Voldemort and Draco, Voldemort was hot and the girl playing Draco gave an uber-cute performance that made my favourite character even more hilariously weird.

So lets all climb on Rumbleroar's back and don't forget your space suits, we're going to Mars!

Watch on Youtube (You have to watch at least two parts before you really get into it.)

My Favourite Brunette (1947)

I watched this Bob Hope film while eating my breakfast and then decided to carry on watching because some of the lines cracked me up as well as the visual gags. I especially liked the scene where Peter Lorre kept sneakily placing the jewelry box in Bob's path only to have him miss it every time.

Bob Hope is a baby photographer whose office happens to be next door to the office of a private detective. ho ho ho, classic.

"I woke up with a lump on my head the size of my head."

The one-liners were great but I just loved the way he described everything, those voiceovers can be so blah in old murder movies, but Bob's commentary was top-notch.

"It was one of those real swanky joints where they eat mink for breakfast."