Looper (2012)

 How the flip did they do it? How did they make Tommy from 3rd Rock from the Sun look like a young Bruce Willis?! False nose, false eyes, big drawn on eyebrows (despite the fact Bruce has no eyebrows) and- now this is the important bit- Tommy doing an impression; that wry sideways smile Bruce always does and the short derrisive laugh. It was an ok film, I only went because I wanted to see someone doing an impression of Bruce, I like seeing actors doing impressions! There was a bit that was a bit too much for me and Celia, too graphic and horrible, yuck, you know the bit.

Blue/Orange, York Grand

The night me and Rob went to see Blue/Orange in town I started to get bad back pains, they were terrible for three days then they eased and I went to see King Lear in London, that's when my troubles really started! Anyhoo, I took some paracetemol and we went to see the play. It was good! The three actors did a great job, all of them, I went to see Robert Bathurst of course, who Rob likened to a gorilla but who I've always seen as a charming blond boy. It was a good psychological drama and the first time me and Rob have been to the theatre together, I think he enjoyed going too but next time I think a period piece, something less mind-fucky!

Matilda, Cambridge Theatre

For my birthday Anna got me the soundtrack from Matilda, we'd seen in two months previously the day after seeing Henry V. I hadn't really been too bothered, I didn't know what they'd done to it, I only knew Bertie Carvell was supposed to be very good in it. He was. He was! I'm glad we saw it before he left. Matilda was an excellent musical. The songs were great and the story and characters, though a little changed, much more faithful to the book than the sludgy-sentimental-american film. I mean, the Trunchbull was the best thing in the film, it was like Pam Ferris was born to play the part, she was a drill sergeant who had no time for small people, she was practically a big scary man, perfect. Perfect until you see Bertie Carvel. Bertie Carvel, a big scary man, played the Trunchbull like a little girl, her brain not developed enough to understand what's right and wrong, her brain only capable of understanding how to throw the hammer, how to do things by the rules, scared and disturbed by children but with the muscle and gigantic size to accidentally or maybe not accidentally KILL. Fuck, now THAT was terrifying. There were loads of school groups in when we saw the matinee, there was a special needs school in the stalls, every time the Truchbull appeared they all wailed in terror. Christ!!

Step 9 (of 12), Trafalgar Studios

With a Thursday afternoon to kill in London and all the exhibitions having been seen I got a ticket and and ice cream for this one act play in the Trafalgar Studios teeny intimate theatre. I sat in the front row, which was practically on the set- my feet were in the set, it was up close and personal! And it was a claustraphobic little play! Funny, then tense, then uncomfortable, then terrifying!! I really REALLY enjoyed it. Neil from the Inbetweeners starred and he was very good indeed, that boy has range and I couldn't help but totally fancy him when I realised what talent he has! I'm a sucker for talent. And he reminded me of Rob. He was the same height and shape, but like forty years younger. Ha!

Inception (2010)

Best film I've seen for AGES!

Looked amazing, brilliant intelligent script, wonderful ensemble! No shortage of eye-candy either, god I love Tom Hardy.

I want to OWN it!

Die Welle (The Wave- 2008)

The German film, based on the 1981 American TV series, based on the American novel, based on an actual 1967 American school project/experiment. Probably much more terrifying set in a German classroom. Though I don't know... the whole idea is terrifyingly possible- well, it IS possible! It's based on a true story! I think if I'd seen an American film version I would have just dismissed it as "Dumb Americans, they would conform to the idea of fascism without questioning it!" (Ha! I'm such a racist!) So seeing German kids do it was more appalling not just because of history but because German ideals and English ideals seem similar to me, obviously there's a lot of shame involved in being German- I'm serious. But there's shame in being English too! That's why I'm so glad I have my Scottish heritage to fall back on! Whilst on a train last year with Norwegian, Irish and English pals Norway asked; "Aren't you proud of your country?" Ireland was thrilled with herself, fellow Englander and I exchanged glances and then tried to explain the shame in being English. We're warmongers. It must be great to be Irish and be so hard-done-by and wonderful to be innocent and Norwegian, but to be English and have all that history of blood... in Norway you can fly the flag, over here if you fly the flag it's a statement, you're probably a skinhead BNP member, I avoid the Union Jack like the fucking plague!!

Why was I talking about that? Oh yeah, there was a bit in the film where the very liberal girls talk about how awful it was during the world cup having all the German flags up, I just identified with this shame (though I have to say shamed though I feel to be English, I am certainly relieved I am not German!!). Anyway, I was horrified at the film because I did think that if that experiment had started at my school when I was fifteen or whatever, on the first day I probably would have gone along with it too. But Fuck! Already by Tuesday (The story took place day by day over one week) I would have gone home and asked my mum if I could go to a new school!!!

If you don't know about this film (The original 1967 project was called The Third Wave) it is very interesting but very very scary- a mindfuck I mean, there was no violence, just political-horror... As a weeklong project to educate a class of students on the subject of autocracy a teacher decides to stage a small dictatorship within the classroom. It starts off ok-ish, well, not pure Nazism, just more rules than the laid-back schoolroom had before, but as the days go by it very quickly becomes a fucking Neo-Nazi nightmare- the biggest fright being that out of fifty students only two notice that it shouldn't be like this!

The kids like the community, the direction, the pride of being a unit. I mean, I liked that we wore a uniform at my school but not (as the girls in the film sighed:) "because it's such a hassle choosing what to wear every morning," because I was a fat poor kid who only had one pair of trousers and like two tshirts!! And I certainly didn't like my uniform because it made me feel like I was in a strong group that would soon overthrow the rest of Germany! ARGH!

I kept thinking while watching it 'This is why people are in gangs.' Because the kids who got really into it were the kids who didn't have any friends or direction before The Wave and were then part of a bigger group, a community where everyone looked out for each other- but seriously, surely you'd realize 'hey this ain't so great!' when your fellow Wavers (whatever) started to censor anything bad written about them or started to kick the crap out of people who weren't wearing white shirts!! Man, it was one terrifying film, but really really good.

The question at the beginning of the project was "Could a dictatorship ever be established in Germany again?" the kids rolled their eyes, of course not, how ridiculous, we've learned. Yeah, well, in FIVE days you all went fucking nuts you fascists! How far would you as a fifteen year old stay in The Wave?

I'd be out by day two that's for friggin' sure. I look terrible in white.